A Strange Effervescent Sensation

I had a cold a while ago, bad enough that I decided to try one of those Airborne brand ultra vitamins at the recommendation of Emily. That morning, she was careless enough to leave the Airborne bottle out where I could get it, unsupervised. I popped off the top, tipped it, and let one giant tablet topple out onto my hand. It was big and thick; appropriate for a super-vitamin. Anything this big was bound to be not just effective, but ultra-effective; it would probably literally beat off the little viruses with sheer brute strength. Anyway, I was really sick. Anything would help at that moment. The tablet lying heavily in my hand looked very similar to the vitamin C chewable tablets my mom would give us when we were little kids. I remember those tablets tasted good too – usually cherry or orange flavored, with a pleasant sour zing. According to the bottle, this one was lemon lime. Hmm – odd flavor, but sure to be tasty. I popped it in my mouth. As a kid, I would hold off from biting on these delectable little vitamin tablets and just let it dissolve in my mouth until my face puckered from the sour-sweet taste. Then I’d finally bite into it. I let this Airborne tablet sit on my tongue, awaiting the same nostalgic experience. Strangely, I noticed a slight tingle, and I became conscious of a mellow bubbling sensation. “Oh! How cool! Just like Pop Rocks!” I thought to myself. They’re effervescent! What a fun little twist on what could be just a boring old vitamin! Soon enough, the fun little bubbling sensation became more and more vigorous, eventually rising to the level of “violent”. I could hear what sounded like a recently poured glass of root beer echoing heavily in my closed mouth. I opened my lips – almost out of necessity – and a sound vaguely reminiscent of fireworks blasted out like a geyser. I picked up the bottle. “I don’t remember reading that these things are like Pop Rocks … and this is definitely what I would consider “Adult Strength” Pop-Rockiness … I’m hoping this is not recommended for kids or anything …”. I searched the label for any hint of effervescent-ness. By then, I had quickly chewed up the rest and swallowed it; all that remained was a vaguely lemon-lime flavored cloud of leftover carbonation. It was then I saw it: Place one tablet in 8 ounces of water until tablet is completely dissolved. "OOOOH. That explains a lot. For one thing, it explains the gathering tightness in my stomach, and the strange swelling I can see around my waistline." Moments later, a belch that could have blown over trees relieved the tension instantaneously (though temporarily). More moderate belches continued, as the tablet dissolved. And let’s just say, the gaseous emanations found other outlets as well as the day went on. I’ll say this: Airborne works pretty well, although I wonder if it’s more psychologically comforting than literally effective. But if you really want an experience, don’t do it the wussy way. Skip the water.